


love(d) you.

by AUVERSJEON



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), carat - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Romance, pining wonwoo, seungkwan is dense as fuck, suffering wonwoo lmao, wonboo best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 02:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30014373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AUVERSJEON/pseuds/AUVERSJEON
Summary: Reason being why Wonwoo misses Seungkwan was because he was busy with something else.Correction, someone else.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Jeon Wonwoo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	love(d) you.

It was a breezy morning. The slightly cold and humid air hitting Wonwoo's skin as he opens the door to his balcony. It was only right for him to get an apartment that big for just him and his cat, Shook (a name Wonwoo decided on when his cat would always scare so easily).

Shook was like his friend, Seungkwan. Pale white fur and mesmerizing eyes that caught Wonwoo's attention the first time he visited the pet shelter — and best believe he got his hands on the cat first thing the next morning before contemplating for a good whole day.

He has no idea why. Why Shook was the first ever purchase that he thought was a good enough investment in the long run, when he was very decided that when he reached the age 25, he wouldn't get anything but a good old furniture because those were 'actual investments'.

Now he is 28 years old. Shook was ruining the good furniture.

Shook was a mess, but that's what Wonwoo loved about him. He resembled so much like Seungkwan, that the thought in his head can't get off his damn mind when he first got Shook — that Seungkwan was really like him.

At 26, 27, and 28; he thought to just roll with it.

Seungkwan loved Shook and it amazed him enough that they got along pretty well, but then again, if Seungkwan and Wonwoo clicked the first time too, then there's definitely no question that Shook and Seungkwan would get along in an instant.

"You miss him, do you?" Wonwoo asks Shook, who was now by the rattan-made table that he bought by a nearby warehouse. Glass was his initial 'love at first sight' but when he got Shook, his favorite spot was by the balcony. Wonwoo knew he needed to get something sturdy.

Shook purrs.

"I do too."

At 28, he thought to just roll with it.

Falling in love with Seungkwan, that is.

God, he knew he shouldn't have had gone through this state. How he got himself into this mess was bad enough, but when it just sinked in his system that he was actually in love with his best friend was worse.

Seungkwan was just Seungkwan, and it was hard to explain how he fell in love with the complete opposite with him. The guy who would choose waffles over pancakes, who'd choose dogs over cats, who's more outgoing and extroverted. Yup, complete opposite.

Wonwoo would always tell himself it wouldn't work. Damn, just thinking about Seungkwan in his own home was damn well crazy enough, what more if he actually lived with him?

_Not a bad idea though. Wait no, Wonwoo. Not this again._

That was Wonwoo. Thinking of different scenarios in head at broad daylight about living with Seungkwan, getting coffee with Seungkwan, with Shook and Bookkeu by the rattan table probably biting each other off or sleeping in each other's comfort.

Wonwoo just knew it'd be imaginations, so it never cost him anything to just think about them from time to time.

It just pissed him from time to time. If maybe, just maybe, he told his best friend, then maybe all his imaginations were going to become dreams come true. That maybe he'd be cuddling with Seungkwan by the bed by now, or kissing his forehead when he was stressed out with work because he knows Seungkwan loves the small gestures.

Wonwoo suddenly remembers that one night when Seungkwan came to him, with tears pouring down by his beautiful face.

-

"Seungkwan? What's wrong?" Wonwoo asks Seungkwan, who still had the time to buy from a convenience store as he holds a black plastic bag. Shook purrs.

"Work is what's wrong." Seungkwan says softly, and tears poured faster than Shook climbing down by the couch to caress himself by Seungkwan's leg.

Wonwoo reaches Seungkwan, hugging him by pulling Seungkwan's head closer to his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Seungkwan felt comfort in that, and ever since then, Wonwoo hugged him that way.

Wonwoo let Seungkwan cry, not bothered by that fact that Seungkwan was not hugging back. Wonwoo understood.

"Co-workers? Boss? They should have come through me." Wonwoo threatens, and Seungkwan chuckles softly, hitting Wonwoo's chest.

"Boss." Seungkwan says flatly.

"I was hoping you'd say co-workers cause maybe I would have done something." Seungkwan chuckles at his best friend. "But don't worry, I'm buying your company tomorrow."

Wonwoo loved this. Wonwoo loved hearing Seungkwan slowly sniff his way out of his stressed aura, and it was all because of Wonwoo. Seungkwan's steady breathing, and Wonwoo's steady heartbeat fit so well together. It was harmonious.

Wonwoo sways Seungkwan in his arms, as Shook meows his way out of the room, sensing some sort of privacy for the two. Wonwoo should have Shook checked, because it creeped him out how he could sense such.

"Thank you." Hearing that from Seungkwan felt different. Heavy but light at the same time. It felt genuine, and Wonwoo smiles at it everytime.

Wonwoo kisses Seungkwan's forehead as his arms wrapped around Seungkwan's small figure, and he felt Seungkwan smile by the small of his chest.

-

Reason being why Wonwoo misses Seungkwan was because he was busy with something else.

Correction, _someone_ else.

Wonwoo knew from the start, that he should have done something with whatever feelings he had for Seungkwan. But he couldn't be a brat and complain, because this was _entirely_ his fault.

Shook would always lick his face in the morning, as a catification of an alarm clock. Shook would always lick his face when his phone lit up because of text messages coming from Seungkwan.

That day was just not the day to get up.

**_Lovely Boo._ **

**_9:45 AM. Wednesday._ **

Remember Hansol? I'm dating him :p

He should definitely get Shook checked.

Wonwoo would ask Seungkwan from time to time if his best friend was available. But he always got the same answers and it always involved Hansol.

He was happy for his best friend, truly. There were just so many what ifs and whys that spiraled in his head, that stung in his chest when he couldn't find answers for the questions that were all in his head. He should be happy for Seungkwan, but why was he doing so much to ruin himself just so he would pretend he was happy for him?

It hurt. It hurt so damn much that his habits were alive again, killing him. Smoking a pack by the balcony, and if he was lucky and it didn't hurt as much, it'd just be four a day.

Doesn't change the fact that it was killing him. Seungkwan was killing him.

Seungkwan was a vice that Wonwoo would breathe in for as long as he lived, until he decides to break it off for the sake of his health and mental state, but the vices were addicting and stopping was no longer an option.

Just three words. He wish he could say, he wish he could tell.

_I love you._

But he says it in different words, where it was there. Where he felt like it was enough for Seungkwan to hint, but holy shit, he never realized that he was so dense.

Wonwoo kissed him by his forehead, swayed him in his arms.

Wasn't that enough? What was enough?

Words?

He tried that.

_Are you free tonight? I'll take you out to eat._

_Let's take a picture by the art, because it's as beautiful as you._

**_Don't worry, I'm buying your company tomorrow._ **

Wonwoo would cross the lengths, no matter how far it was, for Seungkwan. Yet, Seungkwan doesn't _see_ it. Seungkwan doesn't _feel_ it. Seungkwan doesn't _love_ him that way.

Suddenly, all Wonwoo's questions were answered. All his what ifs and whys.

Seungkwan just can't see him that way. Was it right for Wonwoo to finally complain now? That he has done enough, just formed and molded into different words and actions, to show Seungkwan that he did love him?

Or did Seungkwan have to hear it from Wonwoo himself?

Wonwoo hits on the pedal. Going the miles towards Seungkwan, no matter how far.

-

"Wonwoo?" Seungkwan asks, as Wonwoo pants from running up the flight of stairs because fate decided to be a bitch and close the elevators for the meantime.

"Why are you panting?" Seungkwan approaches him with a towel, damping it on his forehead. Wonwoo looks down on him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"How did you get Hansol to get to you?" Wonwoo asks in between pants, and Seungkwan was surprised by the question, but he smiled.

"Your questions are getting better, Jeon Wonwoo." Seungkwan smiles as he continues to damp the towel on Wonwoo's forehead. "He does things that make my heart flutter."

"Like?"

"He'd send me to my favorite places." Seungkwan smiles, reminiscing memories with Hansol as Wonwoo reminisces him and Seungkwan at Seungkwan's favorite place by the arcade down 15th street.

"Like that place by 15th street. Where we used to go together." Seungkwan says in delight, and Wonwoo bites his lower lip.

"When he brought me coffee that one time at work." Seungkwan continues. "He spilled on his way up the floor, and gave me just a sip amount of the drink." Seungkwan chuckles at that fond memory.

_But I always brought you coffee in full._

"And he would sway me in slow songs, kiss my temple when he would get the chance." Seungkwan finally says, and it stung. It hit Wonwoo so unbelievably bad in his chest.

Seungkwan doesn't love Wonwoo for his actions. Seungkwan just doesn't love him at all.

"Seungkwan?" Wonwoo starts off, stoic by the sudden mix of emotions going into his system. It made him numb.

"Hmm..." Seungkwan hums, as he continues to pat him with a towel.

"I did all those things too." And that's when Seungkwan froze.

"Seungkwan." Wonwoo bends down to Seungkwan's height, going lower just to hear Seungkwan's _fast_ heartbeat, as Seungkwan stood there frozen.

It wasn't harmonious anymore. It wasn't steady now. It was a mess.

Then Wonwoo finally says it. Frees himself from the vice he calls by the name Seungkwan.

For the sake of himself.

He breaks.

"I _loved_ you."

**Author's Note:**

> this wasn't supposed to be angst, i promise. 
> 
> but heeeyy i wrote again. this is for my co-wonbooists out there that are in drought everyday because we get no crumbs <3
> 
> love, boni.


End file.
